Student: *looks up weather in class* "Oooo, it's 40ºF outside!" Me: *shakes head* "check again" S: "Ooooo, it's 16ºF outside!" Student proceeds to "hula dance" while singing: "It is so warm outside."
This happened last week while we were in the middle of a blizzard with up to 70 mph winds...
"Can you tear it out? I'm TEARible."

-pun itself was pointed out by another student who heard the question

"What is my favorite farm animal?" ... "Fried Chicken."
"When you die, can I have your mascara?"

-student super dedicated to the fact that I wore mascara today.