funny

Having just shown our super worm, Thunder, to the class and introduced that he is in fact going to be going through metamorphosis soon while becoming a beetle.

Student A: "Ewww yuck."

Me: "Yes, we'll probably release him after. I don't want a beetle in our classroom."

Student B: "Nooooooo! I have him?"

Me: "Sure, you can take him home."

Student C: "Me too?"

Me: "You can share him, one week at B's house, one week at C's house."

*Student B and C whisper about how they are going to share custody*

Student D: "You could just cut him in half."

...

Me: "Then what would he be?"

Student D: *smiles* "Dead."

Almost a wise king moment. Almost.

Student A: "Guess who's Ms. [letter]? Not the old lady kind."

Student A: "Duck, duck..."

Student B: "MONGOOSE"

A: “I wanna be down on earth so I can go to Russia.” Me: "Why do you want to go to Russia?" A: "So I can be Chinese! ...Japanese!" B: "They have talking bears." Me: "Where?" Multiple People: "In Russia."
     
"I can even see the steam while its invisible!"
       
Student: "Can I wear my claws now?"
     
Student: "I hear you, *turns to class* she said 'blah, blah blah, bla, blah, blah, blah"
Teacher Charlie Brown Moment.      
Pointing to my trailer:
Student: "Remember when I stood outside that window and watched you talk on the phone to your mom while you ate dinner?"
     
Introduces the Solar System to students. Puts up picture of planets in order from the Sun. Only read the first three planets aloud to the students.
Student A: "Uranus!" Hoard of Students: *snickers* Uranus! *laughter* Uranus! Teacher: Could you explain why that is so funny? Students: *dead silence* Teacher: Okay, then we're done laughing at names of things.
Class heads into hallway and Teacher debates stopping students to have them explain why "Uranus" is funny to a coworker. Teacher can't keep a straight face just thinking about bringing it up to another adult. Lets moment pass.      
Student approaching me for help with classwork.
Student A: "Duche!" Me: "What did you say?" Student A: "Nothing" Student B: "Ms. Duche!" Hoard of Students: "Can we call you that? Ms. Duche? Ms. Duche! Duche! Duche! ..." Me: "No."
     
The second time a student knocked on my door on a Saturday.
Student: "You wore them all day!?"
After viewing the fleece pajamas I wore the first time I answered the door, when she joined me in shopping at the store, and at 8pm that same day.