Introduces the Solar System to students. Puts up picture of planets in order from the Sun. Only read the first three planets aloud to the students.
Student A: "Uranus!" Hoard of Students: *snickers* Uranus! *laughter* Uranus! Teacher: Could you explain why that is so funny? Students: *dead silence* Teacher: Okay, then we're done laughing at names of things.
Class heads into hallway and Teacher debates stopping students to have them explain why "Uranus" is funny to a coworker. Teacher can't keep a straight face just thinking about bringing it up to another adult. Lets moment pass.      
Student approaching me for help with classwork.
Student A: "Duche!" Me: "What did you say?" Student A: "Nothing" Student B: "Ms. Duche!" Hoard of Students: "Can we call you that? Ms. Duche? Ms. Duche! Duche! Duche! ..." Me: "No."
     
The second time a student knocked on my door on a Saturday.
Student: "You wore them all day!?"
After viewing the fleece pajamas I wore the first time I answered the door, when she joined me in shopping at the store, and at 8pm that same day.  

Calling all Alethas! You are wonderful humans…and now you have shoes with your name!

(Oh and a book!)

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During bathroom break:
Student: "Ms. Duchene, do you EVER go to the bathroom?"
Mysteries of being a teacher.
A casual joke... Student A: "Why did the baby cry?" Teacher: "I don't know, why did the baby cry?" A: "No, you have to guess." T: "Because it was sad." A: "No because the dog barked at it." Student B: "That's not a..." A: "Sure, sure, sure, sure" *while waving off Student B's comment*
Student: " Want to hear a long joke?" ... Student: "Joooooooooooooooooooooooooke."